Seven days ago, Wyatt went in for his ASD repair. Before the surgery, we assumed that the hole was about 12mm in size which is significant for an infant, but not huge. We learned after the surgery was complete that the hole was actually the size of a half dollar or 30.61mm. While that didn't affect the surgery itself, it rocked us a bit because the range of emotions and "what ifs" cannot even begin to be explained.
What I will say is that while I had prepared for the surgery itself to be the hard part, it was actually the easiest. The hardest part has actually been Wyatt's recovery. It started with the first 24 hours out of surgery and feeling helpless as the doctors and nurses worked to regulate his heartbeat, and his pain levels. All done through trial and error. In hindsight, it was obvious that he wasn't comfortable at all for the first 12 hours. What's worse is that as his parents, Lizzy and I had to try and act as if everything was okay, when deep down we were both hurting.
Once they had stabilized his pain meds, the consensus between us was that we had gotten through the worst of it. Boy were we wrong.
There are NO words to begin to describe the amount of emotional pain I personally felt as our helpless little man asked and even begged for us to hold him because it was his way of trying to soothe the pain he was in. And beyond him asking us to be held, we continuously tried to limit his movements so that he wouldn't arch his back and cause more pain and in turn elevate his heart rate to an absurd 180 beats per minute(it should be around 110).
Then came the pain around his chest tube. The tube which helps to drain the excess liquid from around his heart, actually caused him to hurt with every deep breath. So to compensate that, we had him on morphine. Did I mention morphine has withdrawal symptoms that caused him to be agitated? That was fun...
The turning point didn't come until Monday, four days after surgery, when they finally removed the tube. It was like he was reborn. His mood changed, his smile came back, and he was walking around the hospital as if nothing had happened. It was crazy. But man, at that moment, it felt like the first time I could breathe and just exhale. The amazing boy we all know was back, and better than ever.
Today, we struggle to keep him contained. Not because it hurts him, but because he acts as though he hasn't had open heart surgery seven days ago. He is climbing furniture, jumping up and down and even high stepping across the living room. All things the doctor has recommended he not do. But how do you hold down a two year old??? You can't, you just have to hope to contain him.
I cannot thank everyone who sent prayers and messages enough for it. I know it helped me be strong for Wyatt, Lizzy and myself.
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